When I went to rehab one of the things that made me the most nervous was having to live with a bunch of women for 30 days. I was never one of these people who needed a ton of "girlfriends" in which to hang out with and talk to all of the time. So to be "stuck" with a bunch of women for that long sounded awful to me. Who knew that I would walk away from that place with some of the best friends a girl could ask for? We were all so different yet we all shared the common bond of addiction/alcoholism which was huge. We UNDERSTOOD each other on a level that our "normal" friends never would. I still keep in contact with many of these women and probably always will. They were a huge part of what made my experience so amazing and life changing.
The sad thing is that not all of the women that I was in rehab with have remained sober since leaving. They tell us at rehab that most will not make it but I don't we really grasp it until we see it. I pray for these women every single day and hope that the ones who have not remained sober find their way back because they are all awesome people who deserve to be well.
A couple of nights ago I was talking to one of my closest friends from rehab. She is having some struggles in her sober journey and I hate that for her. I hope she can find her way because I love her dearly. We were discussing the "geographical cure" and I said to her that if you are happy you can be happy anywhere just like if you are truly unhappy you can be unhappy anywhere. She said, "What makes YOU happy?" To me the answer was simple: Sobriety. That is an all encompassing answer. Because of my sobriety, the rest of my life is now happy. I have a good marriage, I have a good relationship with my stepkids and my sister, I am grateful, I have the opportunity to meet amazing people from all walks of life, and I am happy with myself and my decisions today. I have bad days and get in bad moods - I am human. Everyone does. Being sober doesn't get rid of those days unfortunately. But overall, I am happier now than I've ever been.
This Christmas I get to be present. I get to enjoy every moment that happens. That is such a blessing and I never would have thought it could be this good. So thank you to all of those who have helped in this journey and that I can truly say AM happy.
Such a beautifully written post! It makes me think and remember... and realise that I HAVE to return to AA, to be among those who understands me the best. And whom I understand the best.
ReplyDeleteIt's so wonderful to read that you've maintained your sobriety and that you've found happiness. It warms my heart and I'm happy for you. It is an inspiration for me... I too wish to find happiness again. And as long as I stay sober, I surely will ;-)
I remember at rehab once, one of the "clients" didn't appear one day and soon the rest of us found out that he had relapsed and he chose to leave rehab. We were all in dispair, sad for his sake and also scared. "What if I do the same?"
Someone asked the therapist (in one of our group therapy sessions) why our friend relapsed and he said -"Do you really want to know the reason to why he relapsed?" Looking at him with big round eyes we all replied "Oh yes!"
And the therapist said -"Because he is an alcoholic".