No, I'm not rebooting my computer or my cable box (which is annoying to have to do by the way!), but I realized this week I need to "reboot" some things in my life. I mentioned that I was kind of in a funk this past weekend and I'm happy to say that I made myself snap right out of that on Monday. New week, sunny day, and time to get off the pity pot as my sponsor would say. :)
Monday night I went to my home group meeting and as always I felt better after I left there. Yesterday I went to an awesome meeting at noon and heard so many things that I needed to hear. Isn't it amazing how that tends to happen? Turns out that a LOT of people are in this kind of "funk" right now. Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the holidays. Maybe we are just alcoholics and addicts? HA Either way, it was great to go and hear that others were going through this and I was able to hear their solutions to this. I especially love hearing from people who have longterm sobriety discuss going through a slump and their solutions. It's good to hear that I'm "normal" for an alcoholic and that this too shall pass. It's also really cool that I can recognize today when I am in this type of funk and that I do NOT like wallowing in that place for long. Don't get me wrong, I let myself wallow sometimes longer than I should but I'm able to say today that that is an icky place to be. I prefer being on the happy side of sober.
Tonight I met with a sponsee at Starbucks (I swear it's the unofficial meeting spot for alcoholics...HA) and it was good to get out of my own head for a little bit. That is one of the greatest joys of sponsoring women and I am blessed to have great sponsees in my life who I learn from all of the time. I went to a women's meeting tonight and it was awesome and again, I heard what I needed to hear and felt great when I left there.
As far as the "reboot" I'm referring to, I kind of realized that I've been slipping in my recovery program. Not huge slips - just not doing as much as I used to or as much as I need to. For the past couple of weeks I haven't been hitting as many meetings as I normally do. I haven't been reading as much as I normally do. Just little things but they can become big things fast for those of us who need a consistent program and daily reprieve. So I'm kind of rebooting my program - time to get back in the frame of mind I was in when I was newer in the program. I have to remember that my recovery program comes before anything else in my life. I have heard whatever you put ahead of your recovery you are sure to lose eventually and I believe that. Especially with the holidays coming up I need to really make sure that I have a good action plan for working the program that I know I need to.
I think I'm rambling now but in addition to that I've started thinking about my physical health as well. I used to workout all the time and eat super healthy. That is something that I can become obsessive with so I have to watch it but I think I'm ready to start the new year off getting slowly back into that way of life. I know that I feel SO much better when I eat healthy and exercise regularly. Here's to hoping I can make myself do it when the time comes!
Hope everyone is having a great week - 19 days until Christmas....eeek!
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Sunday, December 2, 2012
It's Been Awhile....
It's been a really long time since I have blogged. I seem to go in spurts like that with everything that I do. I'll blog a lot....then I won't blog at all. I'll sew a lot....then I won't sew at all. I'll do a ton of puzzles...then none for a year. I was talking to my sponsor about this and she just kind of laughed. We alcoholics tend to have this "all or nothing" mentality and I think that I must carry that over into all parts of my life including hobbies. I definitely keep busy with hobbies but it's like I have hobby ADD or something. HA
For a quick catch up, life is good here. Today I celebrate 19 months of sobriety and for that I am truly grateful. Sheridan is busy with cheerleading, Will is busy just being Will, and Tabi is about to finish her first semester of college and is doing really well. I couldn't be more proud of them all! Rocko is enjoying laying around being Rocko. I think he makes the Christmas tree look even better don't you?
My recovery journey continues day by day and I have to admit, it's not always super easy. If it was easy, everyone would do it right? I don't want to drink. But the emotional sobriety isn't always the easiest thing in the world to keep on track. It isn't always easy to not get involved in other people's problems, especially if it's family you are dealing with. Even while working what I consider to be a pretty good program I still have days where I just want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head and not talk to anyone at all. I have days where everything around me is frustrating and makes me irritible. These days are very few and far between thank goodness. I'm having one of those days today and it's for no reason at all. Maybe it's the gray and gloomy wet weather? I'm not sure. I'm thankful today though that I don't have to drink over a bad day and that I have tools to use to not kill anyone around me. :)
In my last post I talked about going off of my Lexapro. That didn't last very long. I wanted to try to go off of it but it just didn't work for me and that's okay. When I was off of it I was turning into a person that I didn't like. I got to the point where I felt like I was crawling out of my own skin and was irritated by everything around me. I was turning back into the "old April" very slowly but I could feel it creeping in. I was just not being a nice person and that isn't me anymore. I decided to talk to my psychiatrist about going back on the Lexapro and when I told her how I was feeling she was like, "Why would you NOT go back on it???" Good point. So I went back on it and was fine again within a week or two. Some people think it's not a good thing to take those kinds of meds, but if you need them, you need them. Some people even in recovery still need extra help and I'm okay with that.
We are gearing up for the holidays around here. The kids and I decorated our trees last weekend and as always it was a great time. We put up our big family tree and it is filled with ornaments that all have meaning to me. Each year everyone gets a new ornament to hang on the tree and that is a great tradition that the kids look forward to. In the dining room Sheridan and I put up our candy theme tree. I always wanted one of those and now I have one. It's beautiful! In the breakfast room we have our University of Kentucky blue and white tree with UK ornaments on it. Go Cats! The kids all have small trees in their bedrooms and we have another one in the basement. To say I go a little crazy at Christmas is possibly an understatement. :) Next week I will start my Christmas baking and I enjoy that SO much. I give so many baked goods as gifts at this time of the year and I truly love doing that.
I hope everyone has a great holiday season! Now it's time for me to go catch up on all of the blogs that I used to read! :)
For a quick catch up, life is good here. Today I celebrate 19 months of sobriety and for that I am truly grateful. Sheridan is busy with cheerleading, Will is busy just being Will, and Tabi is about to finish her first semester of college and is doing really well. I couldn't be more proud of them all! Rocko is enjoying laying around being Rocko. I think he makes the Christmas tree look even better don't you?
In my last post I talked about going off of my Lexapro. That didn't last very long. I wanted to try to go off of it but it just didn't work for me and that's okay. When I was off of it I was turning into a person that I didn't like. I got to the point where I felt like I was crawling out of my own skin and was irritated by everything around me. I was turning back into the "old April" very slowly but I could feel it creeping in. I was just not being a nice person and that isn't me anymore. I decided to talk to my psychiatrist about going back on the Lexapro and when I told her how I was feeling she was like, "Why would you NOT go back on it???" Good point. So I went back on it and was fine again within a week or two. Some people think it's not a good thing to take those kinds of meds, but if you need them, you need them. Some people even in recovery still need extra help and I'm okay with that.
We are gearing up for the holidays around here. The kids and I decorated our trees last weekend and as always it was a great time. We put up our big family tree and it is filled with ornaments that all have meaning to me. Each year everyone gets a new ornament to hang on the tree and that is a great tradition that the kids look forward to. In the dining room Sheridan and I put up our candy theme tree. I always wanted one of those and now I have one. It's beautiful! In the breakfast room we have our University of Kentucky blue and white tree with UK ornaments on it. Go Cats! The kids all have small trees in their bedrooms and we have another one in the basement. To say I go a little crazy at Christmas is possibly an understatement. :) Next week I will start my Christmas baking and I enjoy that SO much. I give so many baked goods as gifts at this time of the year and I truly love doing that.
I hope everyone has a great holiday season! Now it's time for me to go catch up on all of the blogs that I used to read! :)
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