Day 360

So today is day 360.  I know this because of  my handy dandy recovery app on my phone.  I can't believe that next Wednesday (God willing) will be my one year anniversary of sobriety.  I was talking with my sponsor today and she hit the nail on the head - in some ways it feels like forever ago and in some ways it feels like it was just yesterday.  I look back on the girl that I was last year at this time and I don't even know who that person is.  It's not the person I am today, that is for sure.  Life is just so good now.  That doesn't mean I don't have bad days.  That doesn't mean that some of my ugly little character defects don't like to show up sometimes.  I can still get to where I beat myself over little things sometimes (Like losing an important piece of mail and having to request another...), I can still get to where I want to wallow in a bad day, and I can still get to where I feel like what I'm doing isn't good enough if it's not perfect.  But today I can recognize these things and snap out of them quickly.  I have tools today to deal with these things other than drinking and partying.  That is a beautiful thing. 

Last night I was able to see a good friend decide to surrender and start living a new way of life.  I was so proud of her because just recently she wasn't sure if she was an alcoholic or not and she was now finally ready to admit it.  I also was able to see someone who I met last year at this time celebrate her two year anniversary of sobriety.  It never gets old seeing someone celebrate an anniversary or decide to change their life.  Having these strong women in my life helps me get through every day and so many of the women I have met over the past year have inspired me in ways that they probably have no idea about.  Who knew that there women just like me?  Wasn't I unique???  HA

Last year at this time I was 5 days from going to rehab....without even knowing it at the time.  I didnt know I was going until 24 hours before I went.  I think it was better that way.  I couldn't talk myself out of it or make excuses as to why I didn't need it.  Because I was really good at excuses and manipulation and denial at that point.  I like to think I'm a completely different person than I was then and I think the people around me would agree that I am.  Emotional and spiritual sobriety are wonderful things, that is for sure. 

I'm rambling now and I could sit here and go on all day about how thankful I am for the life I'm living but I'll spare you that torture :)  I still have a long way to go in this program and I hope to continue to learn for the rest of my life.  I will be giving my lead for the second time next Monday night at my home group.  I feel like it will be much less scary than doing it at a podium at the treatment center in front of that huge group!  Then a week from this Sunday I get to celebrate one year!  Woo hoo! 

Hope everyone is doing well an enjoying spring as much as I am this year!  :)