It's funny how once we become sober we start realizing a lot of things that we never noticed before. For instance, for those who are sober alcoholics...did you ever notice all of the many commercials and billboards for alcohol before? I certainly didn't but I do now. It doesn't make me want it, but I notice them. I think we notice everything alcohol related now so much more than we once did and so much more than those "normal" people do.
Last night my hubby and I had a date night. We went to a new Japanese restaurant in town which is pretty yummy. Hubby has been to Japan 40+ times for work so he enjoys these restaurants every now and again. We sat down to the hibachi grill which of course means you are sitting with about 10 other people at your "table". Last night we were seated with about 8 ladies who appeared to be having a big ladies night out. Before the meal came 3 of them ordered wine. 2 whites and one red. The fact that I can tell you how many ordered wine and what they ordered tells you something. Hubby of course asked if it bothered me and it didn't at all. I notice it, but it doesn't bother me one bit. I have no desire to drink...it's not worth it to me. So we all had our soup course then our salad course then the hibachi guy (do they really have a name? Hibachi cook? I don't know...) came out and cooked our enourmous meals. YUM I would say an hour and a half passed until we were all finished with our meals. But you know what I noticed? These three ladies STILL HAD WINE IN THEIR GLASSES. Like from the first glass of wine that they had ordered before any courses were served. Only an alcoholic thinks that and laughs about it. I told hubby, "Holy crap. They STILL have wine in their FIRST glasses that they ordered at the beginning of the night." Here is how that would have went for me. First of all, I would have had at least half a bottle of wine before I even left the house. At LEAST half a bottle. Logic? Wine is cheaper at home so go ahead and get a buzz before you go to dinner. AND you are drinking on an empty stomach so the buzz comes quicker. Sane logic right? Second, when I got to the restaurant I would have instantly ordered wine. And I would have made sure it was a wine with a high alcohol content. None of this 7% BS for me if I'm paying that much for wine. I would have probably sucked down 2 before the first course even came. Probably another 2 during dinner and maybe one after. Third, I probably wouldn't have eaten as much as I did because I wouldn't want to ruin my buzz with a heavy meal. That is a whole lot of thinking that used to go into one dinner out for me huh? Now I get to go, enjoy my food, save a shit ton of money, not end up arguing with my hubby because by that point I would want to "go out", and not feel like crap the next morning. What a concept right???
So, if you are a alcoholic, this all makes perfect sense to you. If you are not, then well, yes, we truly are insane if you are asking yourself right now, "Are these alcoholic people insane???". Yes. Yes we are. I can tell you that I much prefer my dinner dates out now MUCH more than the old dates. After dinner we went to our meetings that a bunch of our couple friends go to then we went out for dessert with them afterwards. A fantastic night with no drama, no alcohol, and no arguing. I love this life!
I can so relate! Amazing how slowly so many people drink. Not super speedy fast like us boozers. Why is it that the drug alcohol hasn't got it's clutches into them like it did us? Why can they be casual drinkers? I suppose I still wish I could be a moderate drinker. But I can't. I know that. So I will never drink again. And I will have lovely date nights too, like the one you describe here. Great post. xx
ReplyDeleteWhy, Why, Why is right. When I focus on this question I get really frustrated. If I think about it long enough I usually start over reacting and pacing. I just called my man to ask him why we couldn't just enjoy a glass of wine while we go for dinner this Wednesday. He was very patient in explaining how the next few weeks would go if we decided to do that. ER! He is right, and so are you. I have to stop feeding both beasts, the positive change and the beast of WHY.
DeleteI'm not an alcoholic, but have known you long enough that this is all very familiar. I remember visiting and going to get wine with you. I wondered around and picked out wine based on type and pretty labels. When I looked over at you I had a WTF moment when you were ignoring everything else and only looking at the alcohol content. I year ago your ideal wine store would have had all the labels turned backwards. You've made huge steps and I'm proud of you beech
ReplyDeleteRuin your buzz with a meal? Hell, I can eat when I'm dead!
ReplyDeleteThese tapas bars are just too good for it.
Thanks for writing this. I am left feeling envy to be honest. You have no desire to drink. Well where do I pick up that prescription? I have had such a life long curiosity about addiction and the pain and chaos it causes humans. And here I am, hopelessly addicted. I went out for lunch with a girlfriend last week, my treat. She ordered a cocktail of some sort and eventhough she knows I have quit drinking, offered me a sip. Im a little stuck on the fact she did that. Proud I said no, but still, what the hell?! LOL- sorry to vent April.
ReplyDeleteMirror Mirror - it takes time trust me! The prescription for this is: Pray, Go to meetings, Get a sponsor, Work the Steps, Read the Big Book, and Pray more. :) And a lot of other little things added in there. It's work but it's worth it!!!
ReplyDeleteAs for your friend...I know for a lot of us when we get sober we find out who our true friends are...as you stay sober, your TRUE friends will not do that. They will support you and you will no longer want to hang out with people who do things like that. It was the hardest thing for me...but again, worth it in the end!