On being an inspiration and fun in recovery

Once again it's been forever since I have blogged. You would think I would have a ton of time to do so but I am actually pretty busy most of the time. And I think that blogging is something you have to be in the mood to do. If you aren't it's more of a chore than something therapeutic and fun which is what blogging means to me. So a lot has happened! We had my Will's 8th birthday party last weekend, Tabi finished up soccer and made the honor roll, Sheridan was voted into student council and on the school paper, and hubby leaves for Korea on Sunday for business. Oh and Rocko, well, he is still Rocko. Sleeping. A LOT. HA

A couple of things have happened yesterday and today that kind of made me want to write. Yesterday I was told by two different people that I was an inspiration to them. Me??? An inspiration? Both of these people probably read this blog so I hope they don't mind me writing about them but they really made my day. A long time friend of Tommy's wrote to me yesterday sharing that she had dealt with addiction in her own family and that she was so inspired by me showing her that addiction doesn't always win. Last night I spoke with someone I love very much who was a roommate at inpatient rehab. She has struggled with relapse and struggling to find her way on this journey of sobriety. I pray for her every single day and I know she can do this when she is ready. She said that I give her hope and that she is inspired by me and how I am living my life. Two people in one day said those things to me. It made me feel really good I have to say. That wouldn't have happened 6 months ago when I was active in my alcoholism. Today I can say that though I am sober for myself, being an inspiration to others is one of the many things that helps keep me sober and hold me accountable for my actions in my recovery. I know that I am inspired by people in the program who have remained sober for years and equally as inspired by the newcomer who comes in and picks up that white surrender chip. To think that someone feels that way about me makes me so grateful for my own recovery. To think that I am helping people in some way even if it's just showing them that addiction doesn't always win, then I am doing something right. As I grow in my sobriety I hope to be able to continue to share my experience, strength, and hope with others to help with their journey as well as continue on my own.

When I first went into meetings before treatment I was not sold on them. For one I was completely turned off by the "Higher Power" talk and for another I thought I didn't belong there. I wasn't bad enough and why would these people ever want to hang out with me or why would they care about me and what I did? Now almost 6 months later, I can't imagine my life with "these people". There are days when I do not want to go to a meeting. Most of the time it's because I'm being lazy or because I'm in a bad mood for some reason. Those days are exactly the days I need to get my butt to a meeting. Today I was feeling a little lazy, I can't lie. But I dragged myself to my normal noon meeting and I am so glad that I did. I love that meeting. I go to it at least twice a week, sometimes more. There is a lot of long term sobriety as well as newcomers. A good mix of old and young, rich and poor, men and women, and everything in between. The people in that group have become a family to me. I miss them when I don't see them and I know when I am gone they wonder where I am. Because they genuinely care. Most people in there are regulars and have been going for quite some time so we are all a pretty tight knit group. You have your jokesters, you have your more serious people, you have your people who never talk and those that, well, can talk to much sometimes. :) Today I ended up between two guys who are regulars who I have come to respect a lot for the way they work the program. They are also two of the biggest class clowns possible and between the three of us, a couple of guys sitting in front of us, and the rest of the group, we laughed and cut up so much that I left the meeting with a smile on my face a lot bigger than the one I came in there with. I am so thankful for that part of my reocvery family at the noon meeting. It IS possible to have fun in recovery. You just have to get involved, meet people, throw yourself out there and work it. It's a choice you have to make and I'm glad I"m getting more comfortable with that choice.

That is my recovery talk for the day. HA I am now ready to chill out at home on this chilly Friday night and watch Game 7 of the World Series. What a game last night! As a Cardinals fan I am rooting hard for them. However, I am rooting for Josh Hamilton on the opposing team - he is a recovering addict and has such a powerful story. It's amazing to me when people who have so much power due to their celebrity put themselves out there with their stories. They probably have no idea how much they help others in recovery and those who might one day be in recovery.

Go CARDINALS!