Tackling Spiritual Growth

I made a promise to myself when I started blogging again that I would write honestly about where I am in my life.  Those are my favorite books and blogs to read - where people are just unapologetically honest about their life.  This might be a subject that some people want to keep private and that is completely okay.  I keep a lot of my feelings about God and spirituality private and will continue to do so.  However, I feel kind of guided to write this so here we go.

I have been in recovery for a little over 7 years now.  Through a 12 step program it was suggested of me that I needed to form a relationship with a Higher Power of some sort and that it could be a Higher Power of my understanding.  That was comforting to me to know that I didn't have to have anyone's ideas shoved down my throat because lets face it.  I was still pretty closed minded when I was first sober.  I needed the permission to do this part of things my own way.  I am happy to say that I did start doing the things that were suggested of me - praying, reading a daily meditation, and building a conscious contact with my Higher Power who I choose to call God.

7 years later, I am still doing the things suggested of me to the best of my ability on a daily basis.  I now pray on my knees every morning and read a daily meditation and pray throughout the day if I need help or if I have some gratitude.  I help others and do service for those around me.  But a couple of weeks ago I started feeling like I wasn't doing enough for the spiritual side of my life.  I can't pinpoint what made me feel this way - it just happened.  I started feeling like, am I doing enough?  I am doing the same things I've been doing for years now and while it's working, I want more.  I didn't know what this meant at the time and I can't say for certain that I do now but what I can tell you is that it lit a fire under me.  I can't get stagnant in life.  It's too precious.  I need to be growing in every aspect of my life.  I hear "progress not perfection" all of the time and I asked myself, am I making progress in this area?  I found a definition of progress and it says "process of gradually improving or getting nearer to achieving or completing something."  I will never "complete" this journey, but I do want to make sure I am at least attempting to improve.

Once I realized I wanted to be growing in this area, I did the first thing I knew to do.  I prayed about it.  I asked God to help me grow in my relationship with Him and to show me the things I could be doing to make that happen.  I talked to God as if though He were my friend which is what I have been taught to do.  It's amazing once I ask for help, things happen.  I have changed some things over the past couple of weeks and I have added some things to my routine that have really started to give me what I feel has been missing.  I have started praying with more intent - making sure I am really spending time with God and working on that relationship instead of just rattling off the same string of prayers that I have been praying for years.  I am becoming more open minded to other people's views of spirituality and their relationships with God - reading and listening to things that I wouldn't have just a few short months ago.  I have added a couple of daily readings to my morning that are amazing.  I have started doing a guided meditation every afternoon - I'm up to 5 minute sessions but for me this is a miracle!  I'm listening to positive podcasts that focus on bettering yourself, building a better relationship God, and being spiritual.  My husband and I have started reading the book by Emmet Fox, "Surmon on the Mount."  A lot of these things I would have been closed minded about not so long ago.  But by opening my mind and heart and wanting a change, my soul is feeling fulfilled.

I am incredibly grateful that today I have people in my life to help me on my life journey and to give me suggestions when I get in a rut.  I didn't even really know that I was in a rut until it smacked me in the face and I felt compelled to take action!  I hope to continue to take more action and continue to grow spiritually and in my relationship with God because I know that has to come first in every aspect of my life.  I am looking forward to seeing what else in store for me and what else I can offer to others.  Life is good!